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For some reason there has been an influx of people asking me for nudes despite the statement right on my profile that I do not do nudes or topless/bottomless shots just because it's not something I personally want to put on the internet of myself. Let me make this absolutely clear: you are not the exception. There are no exceptions. No private pictures for just you, no nude stock, I'm not going to change my mind because you offer to pay me or make me "famous" as some have offered. I'm a grown woman, not a gullible teenager you can make money off of. It's just not going to happen and I have no patience for people who don't believe that no means no. I understand some people may not be happy about that but this is not a policy I have changed or am considering amending. If you persist after I've explained my policy because you somehow missed it (hey nobody's perfect so I don't mind just letting you know as long as you move on) or you read it and felt the need to ask anyway multiple times, you will be blocked.
I got a job!!!
It's temporary like my other work has been but it's full time day hours working as a secretary/administrative assistant/HR department for an accounting firm and if I get on well with the people there and like the job the company has said it can be temp-to-permanent =D I don't want to get my hopes too high in case it goes over poorly but my first day is this Friday so I guess we'll see =]
Of course since I'll be working the majority of my days will be taken up but I'll still have nights for art and will keep in touch =]

Way too excited right now XP
Update to how the gallery is arranged =]
No longer are there separate folders for different kinds of Photomanipulation, it's all one folder conveniently labeled Photomanipulation. I have paired back my gallery significantly, not quite to the point of a total fresh start, but that's really kinda what I'm going for. Going forward I plan to be posting a bit less often but putting greater effort into improving the quality of my work and using art as a relaxation tool rather than a lifestyle. I have decided that instead of having everything go into my featured folder it's going to be more of a special gallery for just some personal favorite works of mine from each folder. Most of the time when I post something it'll just go straight into the folder labeled with the category of work that it is, ex. Cosplay goes straight into the Costumes folder.
I'm still kinda working on the system but hopefully that'll help clarify things as it all switches over. 
I realize that this will probably decrease my viewership but I have to be true to myself. There are a lot of older works I've done of which I am no longer proud and projects that I've taken on because I was a people pleaser and afraid to say no or disappoint anyone and I am going to remove them from my gallery. I've realized lately that as much as I've loved being a part of this site it's become gradually less and less about the things that I want to do art on and more about what will get me views and that is why I need this change. When I first came to DA it was because I was depressed and lonely and for a time it's helped me get through a lot of difficult things but I've come to the realization that I've begun to rely on a website for the friends I don't have around me in real life and it's become unhealthy. I've been living my life every day counting the views, hoping for faves and comments but no matter how much positive attention I get I am still depressed because healing is not something that anyone else can do for me and I need to start finding more solutions for that in the real world.  That isn't to say I'm completely leaving. I will still keep a gallery but I am trimming back what I have in it. I am no longer taking on official requests. If you have a suggestion or idea for collaboration I will keep it in mind but what I want most is for it to be casual again as it was in the beginning. I've greatly overextended myself in taking on projects and it has begun to feel more like work than something I actually want to be doing and something I'm doing for other people instead of for myself and that is something I need to change. I hope you'll understand, but either way thanks for hanging in there and if you go because of this, thanks for visiting a while.
    So, I realize some of you may be wondering why I've put off so much stock work and the first thing I want you to know is that if I have your work in my "to do" folder (which I'm pretty sure I've caught up on) I have not forgotten about you and it's not because I want to be a jerk or don't think you're important enough. I think about the things I have to catch up on very often and it really bothers me when I haven't done so. I'm not writing this to complain, but because I want to let you know what's going on and I feel that it's important to keep that line of communication open, so here goes.
    Depending on how long you've been following me, you may or may not know that I broke my leg in three places about a year ago.  I was told it would take about a year to solidify, meaning it won't get ruined if I run or jump or whatever, which I'm finally coming up on now, but also that I would feel it to one degree or another every day for the rest of my life and that has finally started to sink in as a reality. I will always have an 8 inch steel plate and 12 pins in my leg. Sometimes I start to try to fathom 40 years like this. I'm young now and I'm afraid of how hard it will be when I'm older, but mostly I try to take it one day at a time to avoid sinking into that depressive hole. I realize that tons of people have way more to deal with and I am very grateful that it did not turn out to be more than what it is, but it's a fact and it's had a much bigger effect on my life than I anticipated or like to admit, especially since my hobby is using my body and my ability to get into different poses to make art.
    I know a lot of people go through chronic pain and many have it far worse than I do, but to one degree or another I have pain in my leg every day. When the temperature changes suddenly or storms come in, it is much worse, sometimes to the point of not wanting to stand for more than a few minutes at a time although being a human barometer is very useful for figuring out what the weather will be despite whatever the forecast says, and I am never caught without a rain jacket or umbrella =]  When it storms hard or gets exceptionally cold though it is sometimes hard for me to get out of bed and sometimes if it's a weekend, I don't. On the days I feel better I have to catch up with irl stuff and with winter where it's been perpetually cloudy and storming, it's an issue pretty much all the time.
    In addition, due to this leg stuff, I have developed some form of a scoliosis-like problem because the muscles in my back developed more on one side than the other from compensating for my injury and pulled the bottom half of my spine sideways which I only found out about a month ago. I'd been having back pain for a while which is very unusual for me and finally went to my doctor to find out what was going on and that is what I was told. I've been seeing a chiropractor for it and learning some physical therapy stuff for it, but I'm literally training my body to walk in a completely different way and it turns out that really hurts, a lot like taking up weight lifting or an intense new workout routine. Stock that involves bending over just can't happen some days. Some days I have trouble turning my neck to the side. Standing in heels for more than a few minutes is also an issue although I've been trying to teach myself to be able to walk in them again as a personal project because I have so many shoes I miss wearing.  I've been improving a lot with this back business but the storms have been holding me off a lot and I feel pretty much like some old grandma or something. I'm basically taking it one project at a time and doing what I can on the days I feel good enough to keep it going.

    I've tried as best as I can to maintain the illusion that everything is awesome but I know that in order to do that I've also put off a lot of projects without ever telling anyone why. I took on a lot of projects at the same rate I always did in the hope that I would be able to just spring right into them the way I used to, but I couldn't. I was embarrassed to not be as perfect as I hoped people thought I was. It was very prideful of me and it is something I can't continue to do and that is why I wrote this. I think I will have to wait a while before I take on new requests in order to catch up on those that I have already accepted. I hope that you'll see where I'm coming from and know that it's absolutely not you, it's me, and I will do the best I can when I am able. 
No, really. This is like my new favorite thing. It's a recipe I received from a friend, and now I'm sharing it with you =]
Ever had Panera's mac and cheese? This is just as good and only has four main ingredients, plus seasoning. All these other recipes I was looking at called for like evaporated milk or onions or mustard (just no) and all sorts of other weird stuff and this is not one of those. Easy and perfect for all of your holiday celebrations or just, you know, cause you're feeling mac and cheese. It's inexpensive to make but tastes absolutely decadent. Each pot serves about 6-8 people if it's your main meal. More if it's a side dish. Just kinda depends on how much people take but I think you could easily get about 12 servings from one batch if it's a side dish.

What you need:
4 1/2 cups of uncooked macaroni pasta. I personally like large macaroni for this recipe because they have more bite and stand up to the sauce well, but any kind is fine.
2-4 cups grated/shredded cheddar cheese. The original recipe said you could do it with 2-4 cups but imo 4 is way better and gives you a nicer texture. I like sharp or even extra sharp cheddar for a bit more flavor but mild works fine too if sharp isn't your thing.
1  8-oz. block of cream cheese, cut into cubes/generally split apart into small pieces so it can melt in well
4 cups of milk. Percentage doesn't matter, any kind will do. I've made it with both 2% and whole milk and either way it was awesome and it didn't make a significant or taste-able difference.

Can be crock potted over 3-4 hours if you want to prepare ahead for later or cooked in one large pot on the stove (you're gonna need a big one) in about 15 minutes at a medium heat for more immediate gratification. Just watch and stir occasionally so it doesn't stick to the bottom of your pot. Works great either way. Just plop everything in one pot and let it go. It can boil a little but watch it and keep the heat medium (low on crock pot) so the milk doesn't curdle. If it bubbles a lot, turn down the heat a touch and stir.
Seriously. That's it.
 Once it gets all nice and creamy, cut the heat and season to taste with salt, pepper, and for a whole new level of awesome, a touch of garlic powder, and serve.

Tips for success:
1. DO NOT use low, no, or reduced fat cheddar or cream cheese. It will not melt properly and what you get will not be mac and cheese, it will be gross. This is the holidays. You've gotta go all the way on this one, trust me, it's worth it.
2. It may look a bit watery at first but don't freak out, it thickens on its own. Just stir every few minutes while cooking it.
3. DO NOT for the love of goodness add butter. Normally I am all for butter in cooking, but in this case, it will just become greasy. Yech.
4. When it gets chilly or if you overcook it a bit, it can kind of solidify. Try adding a touch more milk and stirring it while you heat it a little. Should come right back =]
Image by ArkannesImage by Arkannes Enjoy =D
  • Playing: DA Inquisition (no spoilers please)
  • Eating: This Awesomeness
My dad's out of the hospital now woo! His medical stuff is kind of long-term so he's not like perfect now but they were able to catch some blood clots that were a symptom of the medicine he was taking that his body didn't agree with before they could do damage and are working on switching his medicine over to something that gives him less awful side effects and he has been a much better person to be around because of it. I am now working some more hours (at least until October when my temp job is up) so that's been good too. The stock catch-up is ongoing. There are a lot of projects to do but I've at least been able to start again. Just wanted to let you all know and thank you for your thoughts in my last entry.
In case things seem a bit slow, especially in the area of creation of new stock/request fulfillment there have been some things in my life this year which I did not explain before so this journal is to address that. What I have not told you is that from around the time I broke my leg in January my father who never gets ill (seriously, I recall all of maybe three times growing up that he had so much as a cold) has been very, very sick. I didn't mention it before because I suppose I thought it was his business and that it would never affect me with my art things in the same way my leg and the process of learning to walk again could but lately it's been a thing which has built up a lot and affected me more than I care to admit. He's been to the hospital a few times now, and once again today for some testing to be sure that this is not taking a toll on his heart. He has been diagnosed with a very uncommon disease in which I don't know the name of because it's very long but his kidneys basically just started shutting down. He was down to about 50% functionality right around the time I broke my leg but the doctors believed he could be cured which is still a possibility so while I was at school I did not worry so much. I think my family kept the severity from me at the time so I could finish college despite the odds of having a leg so badly fractured in the middle of winter. The side effects of the medicine to cure him have been debilitating and he has had many more than the doctor predicted, some of which the doctor had never heard of happening with these pills. It's been like living with a completely different person, a small, weak, tired, grouchy old man who constantly complains and needs help and I find myself irrationally angry and resentful at times to see him this way, so unlike the strong and capable father I grew up with. Since I have been home from college my schedule has basically revolved around his needs and this has sapped a lot of my time and energy so I have not found the motivation to take on projects or finish them the way I hoped I would following my recovery and progress to walking again. Most of the time by the time it gets to evening when I would normally take my stock I find myself too tired to want to do much more than sit on my bed. In saying all this I am not asking for pity or attention or something like that. In all honesty it's something I kept quiet because I wanted to be strong and keep on as if nothing was wrong and I believed that I could but this is mostly to let you know what's going on in case you have something waiting for me and also an apology on my part that things have been so late. I guess I want you to know that it isn't because I've forgotten or am not thinking of you. I think about the projects I need to catch up on very often and truly feel bad about not having them done but as it stands I have only had the mental energy to do a few at a time and for that I am sorry. I am hoping things will improve and that the testing today will start getting him somewhere in a more positive direction. For now, I am not really sure but after today I am hoping things will be a bit more clear and I will do the best I can to keep things moving on my end.
Well this has to be the worst week imaginable for me in terms of technology. Both my computer and phone/camera broke in the same week. Because of this, I'm on a major tech hunt and kinda prevented from working on anything new at the moment. Since I'm still living with my family for now I'm able to borrow their computer once in a while which is how I'm writing this now but that will be very inconsistent as of course it's not mine and other people need it most of the time . Anyways, it was about time for an upgade and I guess I'm getting one kinda by force. I hope to be posting again sooner than not. 
I would like to send a special thank you to those who have granted me core membership recently. Today my computer has to be wiped because it is technically property of my college and before they transfer the license to each student they entirely wipe the memory. Because of your gift I had enough room in to preserve all of the pictures and wip which I plan to use in the future. It may be a couple of days before I am able to get my computer back and then I will have to download GIMP from scratch again so it'll be a bit until I can personally start editing work again but in the meantime I will begin catching up on my stock work. I hope to get as many as I can sent out soon. I will also be going on vacation for a week starting next Tuesday to Mexico so hopefully some beach pics will be incoming =D good for stuff like mermaid work since it's been a while XP Thank you for your patience and for sticking with me here. Graduation's Saturday so I'm pretty excited to see what the future holds =] Love you guys!
I have now entered phase 2 of recovery on this stupid leg in which I have received what is effectively a space boot. The cool thing about this is that I can remove it and I finally saw my own leg for the first time in three weeks. I don't think it really lost a ton of weight so much as my other leg got buffer to compensate for its loss over these past few weeks but it was not nearly as gross as I expected and that was nice. I will be scarred for life but they can be minimized with care and aren't as long as I expected them to be which is also pretty cool. No weight on it for four more weeks so I'm still stuck wheel chair-ing on bad days and crutching on good ones but finally for St. Patrick's Day I can begin using it again in this same boot structure for a while so March 17 here I come. In the meantime, I'm going to have to buy basically a lifetime supply of knee high socks to act as a buffer against germs apparently for the next month. It will likely remain booted for my Winry Rockbell Cosplay for Tekkoshocon in April but hey! I'll be walking on it! Also the fact that I'll be in a crop top most likely may prove a useful distraction XP unless I go with the skirt because it'll be easier to wear over the boot. I'll have to see how it goes coming up. Looking forward to the future of this recovery and loving being able to wear leggings like a human again.
**well there are supposed to be quotes around the word "ignoring" because the point is that's not what's going on but apparently DA doesn't allow quotes in journal titles so I'm clearing that up here.

So here's a thing that I'm not sure how often it happens but one action in the form of blocking has happened (I think? It was kind of confusing) because of it so I figure it's worth saying to at least some degree. There are times when I check my messages pretty much first thing in the morning  when I'm not quite awake yet and then fall asleep again or otherwise forget to answer. Apparently there's some way in DA like in Facebook chat and texting where you can see whether your message has been read and when (god I hate that) and with the reading in the mornings or before class but not answering immediately or forgetting that has on at least two instances been an issue with people. I do try to reply to 99% of messages I receive but of course I am a person with a full life and being human I forget from time to time and it is nothing personal at all. I know most of you recognize this but I just want it out there for future reference or in case anybody has felt the same way as the blocker-who-shall-not-be-named. If I don't answer a messages it's not because I'm a "snob" or whatever you want to call that and ignoring you on purpose (unless by some odd chance you aware severely creeping me out which is very very rare and was not the case for any of these), it's simply because I'm human. I'm not on other sites but  love answering notes and comments here as often as I can so please don't take it personally if I miss cause I love you guys XP
For the longest time I've had this in my ID but a lot of people have missed it so I'm putting it here to shorten my ID and make this easier to deal with.

If you have any requests, ask away! I'll definitely consider them though I reserve the right to decline. My rule is this: I will not do nudes or publish scantily clad (lingerie, topless, no bottoms, etc.) works of myself. I am working toward a professional career, so I'm keeping things classy. There are no exceptions. Don't waste your time if that's what you're looking for.

Anything I do here is just for fun. I don't mind being your muse, but please notify me if you want to use any of my pictures for your own work BEFORE you post them and credit/link me unless I specify not to for whatever reason. If I find out that you have posted my work, either original or changed/embellished and did not notify me and get permission to use my work whether you credit me or not, that is stealing and I will have to report you so please don't try it because I will not let that slide.

If any of my works are re-blogged, no changes may be made to them and credit must be given to myself as the artist. If I find that you have changed my work or claimed it as your own in any way or have posted my work somewhere without crediting me and you are not a person I have collabed with on that project, I will I'll ask you to give me proper credit or take the work down and further actions will be taken if you refuse to do so. These are NOT stock images for public use by whomever for whatever. If I ever do dabble in non-private stock, I'll label it as such for your convenience.

****If your request requires me to buy something, it's probably not gonna happen. I don't have a lot of extra money to spend right now.

As a general rule I will not send private pictures except for collaborative works between you and I such as modeling poses which I will send through a file. I do have an email address for art related things which I will give out on a need basis. I am not posting it here because I don't want a bunch of spam or things like that. It is for project work and collaboration only, not conversation though I strongly prefer to use DA notes since I check them much more often and would honestly prefer not to use email at all if I can help it. Either way, I'll try to get back to you ASAP =]
It's definitely not because I hate you, there are always reasons. It's possible the request goes against the policies outlined in my ID which I hold to very firmly. I basically don't bend those for anyone ever. It's also possible that it hits too close to home or is something that I just find way too depressing. For instance I wouldn't do any pictures related to suicide unless it was for a legitimate cause. Darkly Romantic, love it. Self-harm not so much. On a similar note I am currently not taking any requests for manip work (ie you send me a picture and I morph it into an animal or whatever) because I still consider myself to be in a practice phase with GIMP and once you start that everybody wants one and I just frankly don't have the time for waitlists or "open and closed" phases and I don't think it's fair to pick and choose who gets one and who doesn't so I'm not even gonna start with that. I might know another artist who could take on your request and if I do I will gladly point you in their direction. If I do say no to your request, please do not assume that I will change my mind and keep asking me because I don't work like that. If, for whatever reason I do change my mind about it, I will take the time to contact you.
That's basically it. Thanks for sticking around. Love you guys =]
Today is the first time since she ran away to Florida two weeks ago for some strange guy on the internet that my best friend has bothered to contact me and I am glad to know that she is, in fact alive. She is living with the guy and he hasn't tried to kill her or anything yet so that at least settles some fears. I don't know how things will work out for the long term with this guy but even though I still feel kind of betrayed and abandoned by her (as does everyone who was close to her really) it is good to know she isn't hurt or anything so far. He doesn't seems super promising to me as he doesn't even have enough money to keep internet in his house and doesn't have/know how to drive a car at the age of 23 and wants to work at the local grocery store for the rest of his life but at least he doesn't seem like the serial killer type even if he does have a previous charge for violence which still freaks me out. She's seeking employment and intends to remain in Florida living with this guy so I guess we'll have to see how things go but at least she seems to be ok for now and that puts my mind at least partially at ease.
oh boy... This is hard. I mean I'm on here and I'm this person you see who always seems so cheerful and like life is awesome which it is, but today is just...not great.
I just found out that my best friend has run away from home. She was speaking to this guy online for the past three years and just decided today that she was just gonna go to him. This man she's never met, who it turns out didn't even tell her his real name. Legally she's old enough that nothing can be done to make her come home but I worry about her as her best friend for 16 years since we met in pre-school and I feel betrayed. She told her parents she was with me though we hadn't spoken in two weeks so she could get away and now she's shut down Facebook and refuses to speak to me. She has completely cut me out of her life with no warning at all. I just don't want to see her raped or killed or with some crazy man so I tried to talk her out of it when I saw her two weeks ago and it seemed like she had changed her mind but instead she lied to me and her other supposed best friends and told her family she was planning to go on a trip with us to get her airfare and I just don't even know what to do. I am angry and sad and scared out of my mind that this girl who I called my best friend would be so damn naive and just go to this stranger and not trust anybody who really cares about her. I know it's her choice and her responsibility as a 21-year old adult and I can't do anything about it but my heart still hurts for her and because of her.
Mini rant. I am having a really special night tonight. In edition to my first final (which wasn't so horrible) and finding out I owe the school $25 for forgetting to sign a paper which I don't recall being warned about, my crappy awful ex's current gf just tried to friend me on Facebook. I was following neither of them anyway but I've totally blocked both of them now. No idea what would even possess her to think I'd want to be friends with her of all people, especially considering the fact that I don't even know her and, you know, the little fact that she's dating my ex... man people are stupid sometimes. 
It has come to my attention that I have been impersonated on a chat site. Please note that I do not use any chat sites, so if you see anybody claiming to be me on any site other than Deviant, they are a fake. I also do not use Twitter, Instagram, or other social media other than a Facebook under a different name which I do not give out. I am not Arkannes on any website besides this.    
I seem to be having a bit of a hair color crisis. It was definitely yellowish blonde when I was a kid but it has darkened with my age. In some pictures/lights it seems sort of golden blonde, in others almost medium brown or even reddish brown! In the lighting I'm in now, for instance, it's some weird copper color. I just don't even know what color it really is anymore =/  but I'm cosplaying Harley who's an obvious blonde and I just don't know if I'm blonde enough anymore. Sometimes it seems like it, but other times not so much.  The actual purpose of this is that I'm curious what color you would call my hair cause I'm just not sure what to label it.
It's been very interesting coming here this far. Pretty much everybody has been really fantastic and it's been eye-opening in a lot of ways. One of the most unusual things to me has been the fact that people find me somewhat attractive sometimes. Not that I've thought I was hideous or anything, just sort of ok or meh, you know? Especially seeing all these girls on here and just in general I guess I sometimes wonder sometimes how I can compare at all. I mean, my ex openly thought I was a butterface while we were still dating, so this has been very unusual to me. This isn't to brag or be superficial or anything,not complement fishing,just thoughts. It's just different. Really different. Not in a bad way either. Thank you for viewing my things and I hope you continue to enjoy them.